Krewe du Mishigas ReJews New Orleans with the Tower of Babble
New Orleans Mayor Ray Naginstein today announced his biggest erection ever.
According to the Newest New Unified New Orleans Plan, the Tower of Babble will
combine City Hall, the Convention Center, the Superdome, and the entire school
system into one vertical edifice, effectively shrinking the footprint of New
Orleans to the size of governor Kathleen “Babbling” Blanco's brain, unifying the
Levee Boards and the Assessors in a single stroke.
The Tower replaces the old Farklempt Ungepachke Klezmer New Orleans (FUK NO)
Plan in which The Tower of Babble would have been built on the site of the
Superdome, the new Superdome would be built at the site of Jazz Land, Jazz Land
would be moved to the site of the Airport, the Airport would be built on the
site of the French Quarter, The French Quarter would be built in New Orleans
East, New Orleans East would be built at the site of the Waterfront, and the
Waterfront would be rebuilt at the Lakefront.
Krewe du Mishigas Head Contractor and Circumciser “Snippy” Mohel said, “We got
the contract when the Mayor saw we offered the highest bid.” Mohel continued,
“It didn't hurt that we gave him a little bit off the top and a small piece of
the action.” Quipped Mayor Naginstein, “Their offer was a cut above the rest.”
Rumors that Mishugganers were responsible for the failure of the Levys are
currently being investigated by the New Orleans Jewdicial System, which hopes to
have an answer by the time the messiah arrives (ours, not Jesus, who as we all
know was a nice Jewish boy. His mother was so proud!).
“We felt that it was important to re-Jew New Orleans, said rabbi and head Jewish
carpenter Judah “the Hebrew Hammer” Putznickel. “We really want to help the city
get back on its feet, kinnehora. We want to see Yids playing in the streets of
Jew Orleans once again!”
According to certifiable rabbinical sources the tower is tall enough to look out
for terrorists and WMDs (Weapons of Mishuganah Destruction) at a distance. A
krewe of mishuganah Jewish Carpenters will work daily from sunrise to sunset
(except Fridays and Saturdays) to finish the tower in time for Mardi Gras.
Building inspector and part-time cantorial soloist Golda Digger explained, “In
the wisdom of the great pyramid builders, we will build the tower in the Ninth
Ward and await our chance to float it into place. We can already hear the voices
in the Marigny calling, A little to the left! No, to the right! Now up! Oy, you
had it perfect just a minute ago, you schmendrik!”
The Tower will open with a grand shopping spree funded by Road Home money. Gansa
bargains will be everywhere! Don't forget to bring the Yids - and lots of gelt!